The fault you see in another lies within yourself...

(These are from the book "The Essence of Rumi" ..)

"The Sufis' profound understanding of human psychology is illustrated in the following extract from the Sixth Discourse which, although written over 700 years ago, offers a succinct analysis of the modern psychological phenomenon know as "projection":

If you perceive a fault in your brother, the fault that you see see in him lies within yourself. The things of this world are like a mirror in which you see your own image, for "The believer is the mirror for his fellow believer."Get rid of the fault in yourself, because what distresses you in others lies within you.

An elephant was led to a well to drink. When it saw itself in the water, it shied away, it thought it was shying away from another elephant, not realizing that it was shying away from itself.

You are not offended by negative qualities such as injustice, hatred, envy, greed, harshness, or pride when they are within yourself. But when you see them in another, you feel offended and shy away. A person does not find his own scab or abscess repellent; he will dip his infected hand into the stew and lick his fingers without feeling the least bit squeamish. But, if he sees a tiny cut or abscess on another's hand, he has no stomach for the stew that man's hand has been dipped in. Negative qualities are just like scabs and abscesses; you are not offended by them when they are within yourself, but when you see the least hint of them in another you take great offence. Just as you shy away from another, so you should excuse them when they shy away from you, offended. The pain you feel is his excuse for shying away, because your pain comes from seeing the same faults he sees. The Prophet said, "The believer is the mirror for his fellow believer." He did not say, "the unbeliever is the mirror of the unbeliever. This was not because the unbeliever is not a mirror for others, but because he is unaware of the mirror of his own heart."